So I got this crazy idea that we should make up mythology-like stories about metal, and tell the history of the genre in a humorous and epic way. It should be fun to read again and again. Here's what I'm thinking:

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Major Gods:

Iommi - Justice (Doom, Judgment Day, get it?)
Page - Sorrow and Joy (Blues)
Lemmy - Wine and Smoke
Halford - Song
Varg - Lord of the Underworld
Ozzy - Representative and Adviser of the Gods

(We need more guys, this is just my biased list of people I like. Feel free to add more and change it.)

Minor Gods:

I'm thinking Minor Gods should be bands as one entity, and not individuals (except Evil Chuck).

Brothers and gods of War:
Metalli(cus), Megadeth, Slayer, Anthrax, Sodom(izer)

Brothers and gods of Love (lol):
Dio, Helloween, etc. etc.


Heroes:
This is where bands of today come in. New guys who are important in Metal. They have epic battles with mythical creatures and carry on the flag of Heavy Metal.

Mythical creatures:
We probably don't need to go farther than Judas Priest for this.

Exciter - Born out of lust. Tempter of mortals.
The Hellion
Painkiller - Healer of mortals, helps in battle.
Night Crawler
Hellrider
Demonizer

Stories of how everything came to be:

The gods made the guitar, and drums and bass and put everything together and saw that this was good.

After the Gods created the Divine Music, they felt the absence of listeners. And so they created mortal men who are born of the Earth. The men enjoyed Metal, but then the gods felt the absence of a female being. They decided to create women, so that the Gods may mate with them. They would meet at Crystal Mountain the next day for this purpose.

And so the Gods gathered at Crystal Mountain. They were about to start, when Halford heard the call of nature. He went and disappeared among the trees. Iommi, with all his power of creation, produced beautiful women for all the Gods he could count. Halford, upon returning, found that there were no women left for him, forcing him to fall in love with men from that day on.

(years later)

The Gods would mate with their women and produce children that were half-divine, half-mortal. Those children in turn would mate with other mortal women, producing children that were less godly. So every generation would be less divine than the previous. The Gods saw that this was bad, so they occasionally bless mortals with godly powers, so that the Divine Music would not die out. These blessed ones are known as Heroes.

Wars:

The 10 Years' War (90's nu-metal movement):

The Gods of War were famous for their musical skills. The brothers played with all their hearts, and men loved their music. One of them, however, was often overlooked and ignored. He was the youngest, Anthrax. Soon he started to feel resentment towards his brothers.

One day, an Outsider came to him. He said he could help Anthrax get revenge against his brothers. Anthrax agreed, and the Outsider gave him a small glass bottle which contained Unholy Bile, and told him to follow a few ritual steps if he wants revenge. Anthrax was to don loose clothing, drink the Unholy Bile, and chant a few words in a monotonous tone, over and over again in a loop. Anthrax followed those steps, and heard a thunderous sound from the ground. Hundreds of humans sprang forth from the earth below him. These were born from purgatory, a place that neither the noble Gods nor the Underworld would accept or bless. They were rejects, and skilled in lying, cheating, and trickery. They were known as the Pretenders.

The news of the Pretenders' birth did not reach the Gods of Crystal Mountain. One day, the gods were busy celebrating their Divine Music in the annual Festival of the Ozz. Lemmy, god of wine, had brewed special drink for this occasion. The Pretenders slipped in unnoticed, led by the wretched Slipknotacus. They tainted the wine with Unholy Bile, and left. The Gods drank without suspecting, and were instantly transformed. From that day on, they started playing the Unholy Noise that belonged to the Pretenders. The heroes and Minor Gods saw this, and a bloody battle started out between the Metalheads and Pretenders that lasted for 10 years, when the effect of the Unholy Bile finally wore off. The Metalheads rejoiced and their Divine Music remains alive to this day.

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Something like this. Whaddya think?

I think it's rather brilliant actually. Sort of like "Brutal Legend", but for the Lifer storytellers. Like to see it fly man.

Seeing as my own story isn't going anywhere (I just dont have the patience for it atm) i'd be interested in picking up something like this on the side. I envisage it being more a compilation of multiple short stories, but i'd like to see more of a 'Greek' spin on it; multiple higher and lesser gods (actual existing characters), as well as devious Kings and philosophers. The higher gods would be the 'Creator' Gods (much like you've already mentioned).

Oh, and how you missed Joey DeMaio (Manowar) as the god of fertility I don't know.

Mythical Creatures: Nu-Metal that doesn't suck

Anyway, I'll see if I can't work out a synopsis for - at least one version - of the 'Dark War.' (I see no reason why we can't have multiple views of the same story).

Yes! I would also love more short stories, and I'm absolutely obsessed with Greek Mythology, which is why I wanted to do this. There need to be more wars, more Hero challenges, battles with beasts, riddles, and short stories of how everything originated. All told with intelligence and subtle humor (the way I see it, at least). The absence of women bothers me, though. Love the idea of kings and philosophers.

I was thinking we could have multiple writers on this, contributing whatever stories they like. There has to be an editor too. Then in the end we could make a blog and publish it online.

I know pretty much nothing about Power and Black Metal so someone would have to cover that, lol.

Go ahead, do whatever you want with the story. I'm just a beginner writer who doesn't have much imagination. I'll take credit for the idea, though.

Sure, I wouldn't rob you of the credit. Likewise, I still give Ulferts credit for the idea of review blog, even though he hasn't contributed for years.

Anyway, I have a rough outline for the 'Dark War,' its about a side long as notes, but the actual thing shouldn't be much longer. It basically tells the story of Mayhem (who are the bastard offspring of a greater god); Varg's killing Euronymous, the church burnings and Dead's suicide.

Perhaps Julian wants to do one about the Chasm (How they got erronously called Kukulcun and branded as the teachers of the Mayan civilization when in reality, all they did was drink a lot).

Sweet. The church burnings are pretty important in Metal's history. I don't know the whole story but a little suggestion: Perhaps Varg (or whoever you guys choose as the devil), was jealous of the shrines made for the Gods. He destroyed the temples and burned them to the ground. As punishment, the Gods imprisoned him underground and made him in charge of Netherworld/ Niflheim?

But I guess that's different from the story you're writing, (which I imagine is more complex).

Shouldn't Venom play a part in Black Metal history?

Mines not too complex, but I've tried to go more comical whilst remaining as true to the facts as possible (keeping the timeline of events in order). Varg was their bassist for a while as well, so he needs to be worked in. In truth, there's not actually any religion involved. I also have a short intro planned which explains how the greater gods have always existed, they just don't always take human form.

There's many aspects you can do, I'm just focussing on Mayhem as a starting block.

If Petrucci is not a God of some sort, I will eat my hat.

In fact, I have a Dream Theater-related possible storyline but not all you gaiz might like it.

Also, EDDIE!

Nautilus wrote:

If Petrucci is not a God of some sort, I will eat my hat.

In fact, I have a Dream Theater-related possible storyline but not all you gaiz might like it.

Also, EDDIE!

Petrucci can be the inventor of this:

Rosalind wrote:

Nautilus wrote:

If Petrucci is not a God of some sort, I will eat my hat.

In fact, I have a Dream Theater-related possible storyline but not all you gaiz might like it.

Also, EDDIE!

Petrucci can be the inventor of this:

You feel that creeping up behind you? That big lumbering evil force about to kill you, you fucking guitar n00b?

Good luck.

Brothers and Gods of Intellect:
Geddy Lee, Petrucci, Akerfeldt, Romeo (who else?)

Brothers and Gods of Hemp:
Hendrix, Kyuss, (other psychedelic and stoner)

Gods of Melancholia:
(symphonic and gothic)

Gods of (Death Metal):
Evil Chuck, Azagthoth, Corpsegrinder


Post the DT storyline, dude. The more we have, the better.

The Timeghoul - Mysterious being from another time and dimension, yet it knows about this one. Knows what is to befall us and acts in the shadows to bring forth these events or to stop them. There's more than one of him.

The Pastfinder - Once a human, he transcendended into the realm of dreams and imagination. He is on a "voyage to the eternity to find the roots of this fall". After his travels through chaos, it is said that he will bring forth a cataclysmic event known as the "Retribution of the Lost Years".

The Demilich - A probably-mentally-insane prophet who mostly growls out bizarre tales that supposedly contain some kinda of grand unearthly wisdom. He's quite knowledgeable, but you probably won't get a thing he's trying to say.

I haven`t posted much lately but I must say I LOVE this idea. I especially like the Greek Mythology angle, which is why I`m not really that big a supporter of Julian`s unearthly beings. I think it should be kept more similair to Greek mythology and not have these bizarre "relms of dream and imagination" and beings who plan out everything. Instead I`d like to see it stay more "controlled", if you know what I mean. I love the Demilich, though.

And if Blind Guardian isn`t included somwhere, I`ll shoot myself... I`m serious

We need a/some god(s) for marryment and joy, I propose Nicko McBrain could be one of these, for all of those who have the Live After Death dvd and have seen the interviews about the tour know how entertaining he can be.

As previous mentioned EDDIE!!!! If he isn't a god he could be some of general of the major gods' armies.

While the Greek Mythos idea is cool, I think we shouldn't really model it after any one pantheon and instead try to keep it well, just metal-ish.

I agree with Julian, though if we're going to model it after any one pantheon, it should be the Norse, not the Greek. Odin ist Krieg!

Ziegenbartami wrote:

I agree with Julian, though if we're going to model it after any one pantheon, it should be the Norse, not the Greek. Odin ist Krieg!

I think it's best if perhaps we take snippets and bits from all the major mythologies rather than just playing favorites to one. Or we could just throw the idea out of the window and try to create something different from all of them.

The Entity wrote:

While the Greek Mythos idea is cool, I think we shouldn't really model it after any one pantheon and instead try to keep it well, just metal-ish.

If we keep it just metal-ish, it'll be more realistic. I think it should be classical and timeless. With a lotta magic, beasts, prophecies and supernatural stuff. I like the people you posted, it's just a matter of putting them all into stories.

Also, short, simple poems wouldn't be a bad idea.

I haven't read much Norse myth, but it seems very complex. Nine worlds? Sounds like too much work.

I don`t know. While I LOVE Norse Mythology, the Greek Mythology is just a more flexible model. Whilst I don`t think it should just be a copy of one Mythology with Metal subject-matter, I think the Greek would just be a better "blueprint" as it is more, as Ahmed said, timeless and classical. Tales of brave heroes and daring deeds just seem more appealing to me than apocalyptic events and superfluously large beasts who destroy planets or whatever. I`m actually imagining: Shakespear meets Greek Myth meets METAL.

As was said, Greek is the blueprint, but I see little reason why you can't chop out sections from other mythology. Sabbath as Mayan gods would work really well (basically, they had four "creator" gods who came to the land and taught the locals to farm, their calender, etc, etc). The basic premise of the Greek gods is simply flexible.

Hell, who even said they had to be gods? Why not mythical beasts and demons? Why can't the spirit of Cerberus be split in some form of accidental game of god-like-Russian-Roulette, splitting them into Chuck, Azagthoth and Corpsegrinder. That lead front man (a mere mortal) for Sunn O))) developed the idea for 'Drone' when at sea in Norway, modelling his sound on the roar of the mythical Kraken (A sort of giant-squid, thats pretty much the size of a small island). The reason KISS wears so much make-up was because they were once mermaids, caught by Freddy Lim (Chthonic), originally enlisted as a Taiwanese government scientist who accidentally gave them legs in a horrific splicing accident (and incidentally gave himself gills - his high pitched vocals is really just him straining to breath in air - after the show he has to shove his head in a goldfish bowl), but they were left with their scales, requiring excessive make-up to disguise. Thats also the explanation for Gene's freakishly long tongue.

Or philosophers - Akerfeldt could the re-incarnation of "Cicero," Dan Swano the re-incarnation of "Da Vinci." I can also see someone being the re-incarnation of the astronomer "Tyco Brahe," who despite being an awesome scientist, he owned his own private castle and lost his nose in (one of many) drunken sword duels.

Lol, those are amazing ideas. Especially the KISS one. We need imagination like this if we wanna write Heavy Metal Mythology.

Those are brilliant ideas. You, sir, have an imagination

Whatever goes maybe? I don't think all of us are terribly familiar with Greek or other mythologies. Maybe we can post a concept and others can find ways to assimilate and fit it into the general overall mythological feel if it doesn't fit in well enough by itself.

The Entity wrote:

Whatever goes maybe? I don't think all of us are terribly familiar with Greek or other mythologies. Maybe we can post a concept and others can find ways to assimilate and fit it into the general overall mythological feel if it doesn't fit in well enough by itself.

What I mean by the "Greek Format" is that whilst there are many Gods, Demons, Philosophers and so on, they dont all get along with one another. You can chop out whatever mythology you are familiar with - not just Greek - and incorporate it into the story. I think the main intention is to try to avoid sci-fi and instead go for mythological fantasy.