So, who wants to hear about the most ridiculous government in the world? Americans pride themselves on having politicians that sleep with prostitutes, steal money and make outrageous claims and they broadcast it to the whole world. I bet you South Africa's politicians pawn your guys when it comes to ridiculous politics. So, without further ado:
Let's start at the top: our honourable president mr Jacob Zuma (yes, that's his real name). Our lovely president has 6 wives, 22 children (in case your wondering: no, poligamy isn't legal here) and was recently involved in a case where he apparently raped a young girl and aferwards showered to avoid getting AIDS (you heard right). Although the case was dropped there is almost no doubt that he is guilty. Shortly after his case was dropped he was elected to be the president of the country. And did I forget to mention that he and his lawyer, mr Shabir Shaik were involved in a weapons-deal but "amazingly" the case was dropped agian to avoid "causing unnecessary unrest"? He had something like 175 pending cases against him when I last heard. But, all of that notwithstanding, he is relatively timid compared to our country's biggest cunt: Julius Malema.
This guy truly is a piece of work. He is the head of the ANC Youth League and as outspoken a person as you can find. That would've been fine, if he actually knew what he was talking about. This man is trying with all his might to have our country's mines nationalised. Virtually every economist in SA knows that our mines are in a severely bad condition and that nationalisation will be the final nail in coffin or profitability. But our lovely little communist friend keeps pushing for change as he has nothing better to do that change things, it seems. But, in this country, as long as you are a revolutionary, you get elected. There is great upset in the country because mr Malema refuses to stop singing his song called: "Kill the boer" (I am a boer, in case you dudes didn't know). For some illogical reason people are now arguing about whether the song glorifies and promotes racial hatred. WHAT THE FUCK? How can it even be up to discussion? The ANC, instead of disciplining Malema, is protecting him saying: "Kill the Boer is a freedom song from the Apartheid-era and therefore reveres the struggle more than it usurps democracy". Mr Malema is also an avid supporter of Robert Mugabe, president of Zimbabwe (don't even get me going on Zimbabwe - a country that has inflation of over 1 000 000% - thanks to Bob Mugabe and his "revolutionaries"). Furthermore Julius Malema goes to every possible trouble to insulting the opposition, and not in a clever "oo-my-policies-are-better-than-yours" way but rather by simply using the lamest insults possible to show that he isn't afraid of democracy and justice. He actually said of the leader of the Democratic Alliance, Mrs Helen Zille, and her cabinet after she announced her cabinet for the Western Cape (the only province country that isn't governed by the ANC): "They are me Zille's boyfriends and concubines."
Anyway, these are 2 of the most prominent figures in the ANC, which still and in spite of what happens continues to govern the country with a 65% majority. I hope y'all feel a bit better about your countries now
